My freedom

I am still very happy with my concept; my online store and the showroom/shop at home, which can be visited by appointment.
Although in our private life, but that also has something.
I can just do something else on a weekday and then I don't have to answer to anyone or ask for time off.

I can then make up for the 'lost' time at another time. In the evenings or early in the morning.
This means that I sometimes receive customers in the evenings and then our private life is no longer private for a while, but just a shop, or that I am busy for a long time and therefore have to sacrifice private time. But I am happy to make that concession.
I usually need the weekends for shopping, but if there is something in the family atmosphere, I can also skip it.
I have most of the control myself and I love that freedom. This freedom is often confused with freedom from obligation, but that is something completely different.
It is certainly not without obligation, I will just have to do my job and what I leave behind today, I will find tomorrow. But I do all this with great pleasure and love.
And after being ill recently, I decided not to go shopping last weekend, but to try to bring order to the chaos that had arisen.
A nice Saturday in my old clothes, no make-up and my beloved Birckestock slippers with the gold glitter socks that Tove gave me.
Those slippers are not a feast for the eyes, but a treat for my feet.
Enjoy cooking and messing around in between.
Then the bell rings, I expect a package and unsuspectingly I walk to the door.
There is a blonde, well-groomed lady at the door with beautifully painted lips. At the same time I feel like a slob and become insecure.
She asks if I'm 'open'. I explain to her that I have no opening hours and only work by appointment. She asks if she can take a look around. I tell her that I am really closed and now have other activities, that my shop is in our private home and that I cannot receive her. She comes from far away, she says. I'm very sorry, but it's not possible now.
She really wants to come and have a look and then I suggest making an appointment. She doesn't answer it, turns and walks away.
I hesitate for a moment, should I call her back after all? Am I the witch now? I decide to stick to my position.
I am glad that I have become a bit more assertive, but my legs are still shaking. I would never have said this a year ago. Then I would have received the customer anyway and afterwards I would have felt terrible and angry with myself because I never even chose myself. Because that always remains a bit of my pitfall.
And when I lock the door again I don't really feel relieved. Saying 'no' is not my forte.
When I sit in the garden with Jos and a cup of tea, the unpleasant feeling fades away and I enjoy my freedom.

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